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Your name is KARKAT VANTAS.
You have a passion for RIDICULOUSLY TERRIBLE ROMANTIC MOVIES AND ROMCOMS. You should really be EMBARRASSED for liking this DREADFUL CINEMA, but for some reason you are not. You like to program computers, but you are NOTORIOUSLY PRETTY AWFUL AT IT. When you mature, you aspire to join the ranks of the most lethal members of your society, the THRESHECUTIONERS. You like to practice with your REALLY COOL SICKLE, but just wind up looking like KIND OF A DOOFUS BY YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM.
You like to chat with some of your other troll pals, most of which drive you BATSHIT UP THE FUCKING BELFRY. Your trolltag iscarcinoGeneticistand you speak in a manner that isALMOST EXCLUSIVELY ORNERY, ALL THE TIME.
You are now stuck in a MAGICAL MANSION that is trying to EAT YOUR MEMORIES. It is ruled by the RED QUEEN OF HEARTS who probably wants you and everyone else dead, or at least eaten by the aforementioned Mansion. None of it has anything to do with your own canon. This situation is VERY CONFUSING.
What will you do?